Coming Back

I've missed this. I've missed sharing a slice of my heart with the world wide web...

I'm not entirely sure where June & July went or how it's already August, so I won't even attempt to put into words the last two months. The last two hours, however, I can share about. Since earlier this afternoon, I've attempted to begin the painful & nearly impossible task of taking a good, long look at myself-- the self that rests, struggles, & moves beneath my flesh & bone. The trials, the quirks, the silly nothings, the motives. With all of this exploration, I have consistently found that everything returns to who God is & my relationship with Him. All of me, & what I & others perceive of myself, hinges on Him. As my relationship with Him grows, my understanding of myself grows. So, my head & heart have been wrestling with one "simple" question: Who am I?

Who am I?

Praise God there are countless explanations in the Bible to this loaded question. I am a sinner, & I have been saved (First Timothy 1:15). I am a new creation (Second Corinthians 5:17). I have been made alive in Him (Ephesians 1). My body is His temple, & His presence is my home (First Corinthians 3). I am a child of the Light (Ephesians 5). I am beautiful & unique (Psalm 139). I am free (Galatians 5). I am light in a dark place, a lover of my enemies, a sharer of the Good News, living evidence of God's grace & mercy, a portrait of His love, a listener, a learner, an encourager, a daughter, a sister, a friend. I am all of these things & so much more.

Then, there are the more "frilly things" about me. There are the human things-- favorite color, disposition, passions, the internal juxtapositions of extroversion & introversion, passivity & ambition, emotional & logical-- all of these "things" vying for domination day after day. So, here are a few things that I've seemed to notice remain consistent about myself. Some of these things good & some of them needing continual, persistent sanctification.

I am confident, but I am hesitant.
I would rather not confront.
I am a creature of habit & familiarity.
I generally choose my family.
I thrive in routine & dislike change.
I want to be a wife and mom and teacher.
All at the same time. All right now.
I treasure a good cup of coffee.
I am attracted to funny people.
I can laugh at myself & often make others do so, too.
I like a clean slate, but realize I never had one.
I enjoy cooking, but am annoyed by the time it takes to do so.
I like watching people eat the food I sometimes cook.
I am forever trying.
I have learned to not place expectations on things or people.
I don't care enough.
I don't speak up enough.
I relish in autumn.
I am content.
I will always be a John Mayer fan.
I am the spitting image of my mother with my father's disposition.
I am a daughter of the King.
My life is not my own.


My name is Kelsey.
And as for my favorite color, well, I have no idea.
I do like cupcakes, though.