Arithmetic and the Emerald City

I've been staring at the sky tonight
Marveling and passing time
Wondering what to do with daylight
Until I can make You mine
You are the one I want, You are the one I want

I've been thinking of changing my mind
It never stays the same for long
But of all the things I know for sure
You're the only certain one
You are the one I want, You are the one I want

I've been counting up all my wrongs
One sorry for each star
See I'd apologize my way to You
If the heavens stretched that far
You are the one I want, You are the one I want

I won't find what I am looking for
If I only see by keeping score
'Cos I know now You are so much more than arithmetic

'Cos if I add, if I subtract
If I give it all, try to take some back
I've forgotten the freedom that comes from the fact
That You are the sum
So You are the one
I want

When the years are showing on my face
And my strongest days are gone
When my heart and flesh depart this place
From a life that sung Your song


You'll still be the one I want...

(P.C.: Google Images)
Absolutely, positively looking forward to visiting this place. (!)

**Happy 32 years of marriage, mom and dad!**

She Dances

Standing offstage, she cautiously peeks her head around the curtain. She sees Him. His eyes beg for her to take the stage, assume her beginning position, but her body grows limp. Her strength wanes as her knees collapse and her shoulders cave in. She breathes deeply. She breathes and regains her composure, repeatedly pointing her toes. As she takes a step forward into the dim light, she feels the blisters on her feet, is reminded of the aching in her muscles, and she hears, "Can you be sure that He'll even like it?" For a moment, she envisions the pirouettes and jetés being met by silence. She fears the practice and the dedication will be met by disapproval. Gently, a whisper arrests her attention as she continues across the stage, "He will love it. He loves you." As she positions her body, she looks up and her eyes catch His. He is reassuring, and she finds courage. Her chin lifts. The spotlight shines.

She dances.

 

(P.C.: Ryan Woodward)

Ten Things

That never fail to put a smile on my face...
Could also be called Happy List #8. 

1. Weekend jogs with brother! This weekend he said, "Don't worry. If you pass out, I'll call 911." Best big brother ever.
2. Box mix brownies (Stop cringing, Lyndsay. I love you.) + a mug of milk +  Bible
3. Mom and dad coming home today!
4. Watching murder shoes with brother. We watched about 6 this weekend.
5. SEVEN more days of summer school.
6. My friend's interior design site. Click here to see goodness.
7. Heart to heart phone calls with Kelsey C.
8. My bed.
9. Brooke Fraser. She's my homegirl.
10. Reading with my favorite 6 year old, Mr. Noah. It's like Tuesdays with Morrie, but Tuesdays with Noah.  : )

It's Tuesday! It's Tuesday! Celebrate today.
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Edit:// Local band named #4 best album of 2011(so far). And duh Bon Iver is #1.

Open Up the Sky

My heart proclaims these words this morning:

Our Beloved Jesus, 
We just want to see You
In the glory of Your light. 
Earthly things don't matter.
They just fade and shatter
When we're touched by Love Divine. 

Open up the sky, 
Fall down like rain. 

We don't want blessings.

We want You.

Open up the sky, 
Fall down like fire. 
We don't want anything but You. 

I've never been so bombarded with thoughts of what my heart desires as I was yesterday.
---
Everything I want in life stems from a haphazard grouping of idols- others' approval and a sense of control just to name a few. I've laid my heart down before the Lord pleading with Him for this, asking Him for that, begging for certain circumstances. I've wanted so many things, and they haven't been necessarily evil. What I've learned this weekend, though, is that there should be One who is above all of those things. One who is above the blessings He pours down.

What happened to just wanting Him? Simply desiring to seek Him without any other motive but to know Him more, love Him more, learn Him more. My heart aches for my thoughts, dreams, desires, wishes, and hopes to wrap their arms around Jesus. I want my purpose to be Him.

I sang Open Up the Sky for the first time in church yesterday, and the words we don't want blessings, we want You have been ricocheting off the walls of my heart ever since.

Canary and the Coal Mine

Some pretty pictures for your Saturday morning from Match Box Dances---

Today's Song: Indelible by Brooke Fraser

Have a great weekend!
P.S. HAPPY 26th BIRTHDAY TO MY BROTHER!

Good Music, Deep Friendship, and a Little Bit of Coffee and Tea

I'm writing this post with a large cup of coffee next to my bed and a deep desire to be with the Lover of my soul. But first, I must share about my evening last night, jam packed with good music, deep friendship, and a little bit of coffee and tea. Blessings overflowed.

I'm not sure what I did to deserve such a beautiful best friend, but Lyndsay really is the best. Loyal is her middle name, and she is clothed in the selfless blood of Jesus Christ. Don't get me wrong, she's not perfect, but I've enjoyed joining her on her adventure to be more like God's Son. And I know she's loved every moment of my journey, too. What's so wonderful about our friendship is that our relationships with God and our approaches towards Him can sometimes be starkly different, but we always have the same goal in mind: to fall more deeply in love with the Gospel and all of the implications that come with that statement.

She reminded me just the other day that when we were in high school we used to look at each other before walking into our French class just to say "To glorify Him!" or something of that nature. That girl pushes me towards Jesus.

So last night we went to a little jazz concert in town, ate delicious food, then headed to one of my favorite coffee shops. Oh yeah, and we talked about some really great stuff, too. And we even kind of documented the evening...

 Delicieux!

 

Love it. 

Probably the cutest game of cards ever played.

The Book Swap at BG's! Take a book, leave a book.

I kind of think she's the coolest.

 

And this is my favorite picture from the whole evening.Girl knows how to pose. 

Thanks for being yourself, Lyndsay.  

A Dramatic Retelling

As of yesterday, I can claim that I've been involved in a fender bender. Yesterday afternoon, a big man in a big truck, in complete disregard to the color of the stoplight in front of him, attempted to make his way across the intersection. There was only one problem with his maneuver. I was in his way...So he ran into me. Logically. I'm not quite sure exactly what I was doing at that moment in time, but I'm pretty sure I was about to take a sip of water from my water bottle, because when I looked up, water was all over my steering wheel. And I was shaking.

I didn't cry, but calmly got out of the car to talk to the big man. He told me that there was no damage to my car, but I insisted that we pull into the nearest Walgreen's parking lot, and I called my dad. He, of course, saved the day. Sure enough, dad found damage where the big man "could not." My trunk won't close (unless properly secured from the inside with a string), and the back frame is possibly pretty bent. That's what happens when a big man hits a "little girl" as he kept calling me.

Yada, yada, yada, the police man showed up. His name was B. Street, and he asked me if I was okay. Insurance information, licenses, and phone numbers were exchanged, and I finally went about my merry way. All in all, it was a good first fender bender experience, and for the millionth time in my life I'm grateful for Jim Faber- that man has saved my butt more times than I can count.
---
On a lighter note: Le café et la musique avec ma meilleure amie ce soir

You Can't Argue with Emotions

A dear, sweet, wise, and spunky friend of mine left me an incredibly, incredibly long voicemail last night and said one thing that I couldn't agree more with. That one thing she said was: You can't argue with emotions, because they're not rational. How often do I feel one way, then kick myself an hour later for feeling that way? She's right, emotions cannot be explained by reason. And they shouldn't be trusted either.
---
I think about how often I use my emotions to judge the state of so many things: my relationships, my condition, my abilities. Most often I use my emotions to judge my relationship with the Lord- but I don't feel like raising my voice to Him, I don't feel close to Him right now, I don't feel like talking with Him in the midst of my sinfulness. Then I remember that His patience goes longer and deeper than mine does, and He is greater than my emotions. I thank Him that my emotions don't determine who He is.

He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. 

And as I sit in bed watching the timid shimmy of the trees as a breeze rustles through, I have to thank Him for the perspective He brings to my emotions, the reality He unveils at the proper time. Not that I wasn't justified in feeling how I felt, but that joy comes in the morning...It certainly does.

I Hate It When...

I hate it when I have nothing to say, when the only words I want to write are for God. I hate it when I've spent my thoughts and energy on lesson plan critiques and observation reflections and pasted my ideas onto things that will be assessed by someone who doesn't know me. I hate it when my thoughts are so sporadic that they slip through my fingers like water yet bore into my heart like a dull pain. I hate it when my words run dry and need to be satiated by the Holy Spirit, by the Word, by Him who fully knows me.

I also hate it when the gray clouds tempt me, yet hold back their rain.
---
And now my lamentations about not being able to write have afforded me a decent post. I love it when that happens.

May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us-- yes, establish the work of our hands. 

Preschool Gems

Oh me, oh my. I love babies. Babies pretty much qualifies anyone under the age of 14. And I love babies so much that I follow PreschoolGems on Twitter and absolutely die with each tweet. Nerdy, but you'll just have to check it out for yourself. Lately I've been hanging out with a lot of little people under the age of 6, and this morning I'm off to a local elementary school to observe for a couple of hours. I can't wait to see what I learn!
---
Love. Death. Magic. From the mouths of babes fall gems.

Have a happy Monday!

Saturday Morning Creativity

Soak it up.


.

For whenever our hearts condemn us, God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.

A Bike Ride + A Weekend

I went on a bike ride. I raced a dragonfly for nearly a quarter mile, laughed through sprinklers, and relished in the Lord's embrace. Let me tell you, it felt good. All the while, my mind was free with every fear and accusation under my feet. 
 --- 
This weekend I'm meeting up with a dear friend and her new man(!), awaiting my brother's arrival, anticipating a visit from my aunt and uncle, and finishing about 10 projects for school. It will be one word: busy. When life gets busy I often think that I don't have time to meditate on the Word, pray, and journal, but it's then that I'm reminded I can't even afford to neglect those things. It's then that I remember I must be poor in spirit, completely reliant on God, whether I'm happy or full of sorrow. Because those who are poor in spirit, theirs is the kingdom of heaven...

With all of my heart--

Let Me Pursue You...

Yesterday included the usual bustle that was school, home, library, home, homework, and was sprinkled with encouraging conversation and sweet moments of reflection. Towards the end of the evening, as the sun was making way for the moon to light the sky, the Lord quietly prodded me, "Let me pursue you. Let me pursue you. You are not alone" Sitting cross-legged in the chair in the corner of my room, I had no other choice but to surrender to His pleas.

And this is what He said: I will pursue you through the light of the day and the dark of the night, through the battle of your tears and the surrender of your smile. You are beautiful. I will pursue you through the depth of your sin that has been cast as far as the east is from the west. You are beautiful. I will pursue your heart that is heavy with doubts, fears, and questions; passions, loves, and laughter. I will pursue you through the busyness of your times and the idleness of the clock. You are beautiful. I will pursue you in the multitudes and in your solitude; through the harvest and the desert; through your stubbornness and your obedience. You are beautiful, and you are mine. 

These words strengthen my heart.
He is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

For your joy and His glory.

---
Favorite music as of late: Bon Iver's new album --- literally the best when sleepiness sets in.

Wholly Yours

I have thoughts and words to share but am on a time crunch, so this video will have to do. I think it's more than sufficient.

Happy List #8

Let's all 'lol' about that title up there^^. I know it's cheeeeesy. (Bobby Zimmeruski, anyone?) And here are a couple of things that make me happy.

1. The wannabe tree house I wake up in every morning.
2. Psalm 46.
3. Writing- a passion and a hobby. A release.
4. The cup of coffee I'm sipping.
5. Mint green pearl earrings (for $10). I might as well have stolen them from the store.
6. Mom, dad, brothhair.
7. Bon Iver's self-titled album's official release. Come on! (T-7 days)
8. Brooke Fraser's Albertine album- chock full of goodness.
9. BFF reunion tonight.
10. His provision- Isaiah 43:20-21. Even the wild animals honor Him.

Live well today on this Tuesday.

All the Things I Crave, He is

It feels like 7:38 in the evening, but as I watch the sun melt into the tree outside my window, I know the morning has come. And I have been witness to its arrival as I sit here and read and write. Why am I writing? To who am I writing? I have laboriously struggled with this little ol' blog wondering about its existence and its couple of page hits per day and thought these questions to myself over and over. This morning, however, I know that I write because I desire to write, not necessarily to be read. I write because I desire to glorify One who shines brighter than the sun. And who am I writing to? Him.

To Him who relentlessly pursues me, a God who knows me. He intricately designed me in my mother's womb with a chasm in my heart that could only be filled and satisfied by Him alone. For the mornings He knew I would wake early and just need to be enveloped in His love and His mercies. For the moments when all I want is some assurance that my hopes and dreams are still being guarded and tended by His hands...

For these times when I feel need beyond what I can understand...He is better. Life is a simple thing and talking with Him is the only thing that satisfies. All the things I crave, He is.

Beauty

This scripture has penetrated my heart this afternoon:

But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. First Peter 3:4

I desire to be gentle and kind just as He is gentle and kind.
I desire to glean my worth and my beauty from Him.
Nothing else.

(P.C.: Google Images)