Ten, Ten, Ten

Today is 10/10/10. How perfect...












(P.C.: Weheartit)
In 6 days, I will be twenty years old. TWENTY. 2-0. On October 16th, I will unashamedly leave my teenage years behind & embark upon perhaps the most important decade of my life. (Can't we say that about each decade?)

In the next ten years, I will experience changes, overcome trials, celebrate victories; accomplish goals, embrace failures, create experiences; laugh in the face of my insecurities, shake hands with confidence, draw near to Love; weep, giggle, be indifferent. I will do these things, Lord willing.

In the next ten years, I will get married, have babies, buy a house, purchase a car, become a teacher; take care of a home, join a new church family, see the world outside the pocketbook of my dad; wonder about the future, remember the past, cherish the present. I will do these things, Lord willing.

In the next ten years, I will hurt others, disable others, help others, love others; tear others down, build others up, ignore others; communicate with others, minister with others, share with others. I will do these things, Lord willing.

In the next ten years, I will be responsible, loyal, dependable; flaky, unreliable, untrustworthy; compliant, obeying, responsive; difficult, moody, defiant. I will be these things, Lord willing.

In the next ten years, I will grow & learn. I will love & hate. I will fail & succeed.

I am a contradiction according to these juxtapositions, but I am me. Human. Attempting to be more like Jesus Christ without doing anything of my own volition. It is by Him & for Him that I will see my twentieth birthday. And who knows what will happen in 6 days. Perhaps I won't even see that...

It's through someone I hold very dear to my heart (hint: he has been brought up many times in this little ol' blog, & he's very handsome), maybe even the dearest, that I have begun to learn about enjoying life one single day at a time. Maybe in the next ten years, I can solidify this thought & see it come to fruition. Maybe, as I begin life as a twenty-something, I can wrap my head around the truth that I am not guaranteed to see the sun rise again. I must take care of my soul as if I will die tomorrow.

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that. James 4:14-15

I don't want to leave this blog feeling down about the uncertainty of the future, but rather hoping in Him who has hung on a tree for the sins of all mankind, hoping in Him who raised from the dead three days later, hoping in Him who is seated at the right hand of God, hoping in Him who is the Ancient of days, & being certain of eternity. Besides, the same day I turn 20, my man will be turning 22. I'm eagerly anticipating this coming weekend filled with presents, cake, surprises, & sushi with my love. I'm anticipating the sheer childlike happiness that envelops me in the morning on that day I celebrate my birth. I'm anticipating hanging out with family (I'll miss ya, BT). I'm anticipating all that's in store, & don't worry, I'll probably blog about it, because in my opinion, birthdays magnify blessings.

Cheers to Sunday night, a happy weekend, & a promising week ahead.

Beautiful, Quite Beautiful

I received this expertly written poem from my dear friend a very long time ago. The funny thing about it is I forgot she wrote it, but I found it not too long ago, & I want to share it with all of you. It's just that good.

My Beautiful Friend by Molly Videtich

My dear friend I hope you know,
I hope it has been told to you before,
that you are a picture of beauty
of love, of grace, & so much more.

Far more beautiful are you
than the flowing brooks or streams,
than the snow caps of the mountains,
or the falling of autumn's leaves.

Far more beautiful are you
than the vast expanse of sky,
whether filled with the radiance of stars,
or beaming with the rays of life.

Far more beautiful are you
than the petal of a rose,
than each shade of color within,
or the elegance of its pose.

Far more beautiful are you
than the illimitable ocean,
than its mysterious depths,
or its symphonious motion.

Your beauty is undeniable,
one could nay dispute,
for the Creator of each of these
has also created you.

Far beyond the beauty of scenery and sky
lies the beauty of the heart, the soul, and the mind.

The beauty in an act of love
surpasses that held by the sun and its setting.
The beauty in the gift of grace
is far greater than ebb and flow of the ocean never ending.

The beauty of your heart is in the sacrifice God has given.
How much more beautiful is this than any earthly dimension?


I will forever treasure these sweet words.

Shout. Out. Loud.

I just want to give a shout out to a fellow blogger & fantastic photographer, Chris Newby. He has the world's coolest wife... Here's his stuff. CHECK IT OUT, then thank Jesus for the gifts He has given.

And here are some shots of moi:
(I had a hard time picking seven to put on here.
Seriously, check out his blog.)




































































































DON'T YOU WANT TO USE CHRIS NEWBY FOR ANY PHOTOGRAPHY NEEDS YOU MIGHT HAVE?! (Then do it.)
Side note: I've decided to quit college & pursue modeling.

Chrysanthemums & Mary Oliver

I think I have a thing for chrysanthemums. And Mary Oliver's poetry.

Peonies by Mary Oliver

This morning the green fists of the peonies are getting ready
to break my heart
as the sun rises,
as the sun strokes them with his old, buttery fingers

and they open ---
pools of lace,
white and pink ---
and all day the black ants climb over them,

boring their deep and mysterious holes
into the curls,
craving the sweet sap,
taking it away

to their dark, underground cities ---
and all day
under the shifty wind,
as in a dance to the great wedding,

the flowers bend their bright bodies,
and tip their fragrance to the air,
and rise,
their red stems holding

all that dampness and recklessness
gladly and lightly,
and there it is again ---
beauty the brave, the exemplary,

blazing open.
Do you love this world?
Do you cherish your humble and silky life?
Do you adore the green grass, with its terror beneath?

Do you also hurry, half-dressed and barefoot, into the garden,
and softly,
and exclaiming of their dearness,
fill your arms with the white and pink flowers,

with their honeyed heaviness, their lush trembling,
their eagerness
to be wild and perfect for a moment, before they are
nothing, forever?















(P.C.: Google Images)

Peonies reminds me of this:

A voice says, "Cry out." And I said, "What shall I cry?" "All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field. The grass withers and the flowers fall, because the breath of the LORD blows on them. Surely the people are grass.The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever. Isaiah 40:6-8

Have a happy Monday.

A Date Night Downtown

Hello blogosphere (never to be used again)--

This past weekend I took a little trip down to College Station, TX to see the wonderful Ryan Trevino, & it was the most comfortable, sweet weekend to date. I'll spare you blog readers the gory details of the visit & just share some adorable pictures from our date night in downtown Bryan.




























































I love him so very much.

On another note, this weekend will consist of:
Studying, relaxing, cooking, reading, & just being.
Cherishing a couple of days Jesus has given me to rejuvenate & rest in Him.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters.
Psalm 23:2

I can't wait!

Good & Bad

I'm frustrated because I don't know how to form my thoughts & feelings into complete, coherent sentences tonight. To be honest, I feel completely devoid of any peace whatsoever, I'm stressed out, & I'm irritated that rain got my lab manual wet. However, because I should not be complaining & focusing on myself/my fallible ways, I will choose tonight to focus on God's goodness & His inerrant ways. I should not be focusing on my "good" or "bad" days, but rather the God in my life.

My life, the days I spend wandering around this planet, the hours I spend meandering around my small, small world, cannot be deemed as "good" based on my circumstances. A "good" day doesn't mean that nothing bad happens. A "good" day doesn't mean that that boy or that girl smiled at you (Ryan Trevino, I love you, & I do not look for boys to smile at me). A "good" day doesn't mean you got an A on a geography quiz. A "good" day doesn't mean that for some reason everything fell into place.

What is a "good" day? Here's what I think: A good day means getting up only to fall in love with Jesus more. A good day means recognizing the urgency of the Gospel & sharing it with the weird looking girl who sits next to you in math class. A good day means encouraging a brother or sister in the Lord to keep up the good fight of the faith. A good day means being encouraged just the same. And, to be honest, a good day means a good cup of coffee... Or maybe that's just me.

I don' t do all of these things all of the time, but a good day also means thanking God every single moment possible for sending His precious & perfect Son to die an excruciating death on a beautiful cross. Doesn't get any better than that...

Jesus, we are desperate for You. We're homesick children, & we're eagerly awaiting Your return. You are our only good.

In all that I have found
Your evidence abounds
I’ve always sensed Your fingerprints
If I just look around...

And yet this grand display
Will all soon pass away
So I hold on to the mighty truth
That Your love is here to stay...

Life has let me down
In wealth, joy can’t be found
I’ve searched for peace in all of these
But I have always found...

When I stumble
When I fall
When I’m walking ten feet tall
Your love is there day after day
Even at the worst extreme
Or after I have been redeemed
Your love is there
And it won’t let me go

The love of the Lord endures

Walt Whitman

Walt Whitman was good, people (I didn't say good looking). The following are some of my favorite stanzas from Song of Myself.
















(P.C.: Google Images)

4
Trippers and askers surround me,
People I meet, the effect upon me of my early life or the ward and
city I live in, or the nation,
The latest dates, discoveries, inventions, societies, authors old and new,
My dinner, dress, associates, looks, compliments, dues,
The real or fancied indifference of some man or woman I love,
The sickness of one of my folks or of myself, or ill-doing or loss
or lack of money, or depressions or exaltations,
Battles, the horrors of fratricidal war, the fever of doubtful news,
the fitful events;
These come to me days and nights and go from me again,
But they are not the Me myself.

Apart from the pulling and hauling stands what I am,
Stands amused, complacent, compassionating, idle, unitary,
Looks down, is erect, or bends an arm on an impalpable certain rest,
Looking with side-curved head curious what will come next,
Both in and out of the game and watching and wondering at it.

Backward I see in my own days where I sweated through fog with
linguists and contenders,
I have no mockings or arguments, I witness and wait.

51
The past and present wilt--I have fill'd them, emptied them.
And proceed to fill my next fold of the future.

Listener up there! what have you to confide to me?
Look in my face while I snuff the sidle of evening,
(Talk honestly, no one else hears you, and I stay only a minute longer.)

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)

I concentrate toward them that are nigh, I wait on the door-slab.

Who has done his day's work? who will soonest be through with his supper?
Who wishes to walk with me?

Will you speak before I am gone? will you prove already too late?